Our guild has a nice opportunity to be acknowledged by the community we serve. All we have to do is track our volunteer hours and report it. Not so hard, actually.
Which brings me to a specific volunteer project I'm working on right now. It takes a LOT of time, and I'm struggling with resentment. Funny thing is, I don't really know what I resent about it. Here are some of my brainstorm ideas, none of which are completely true:
- that I was asked to organize it, when I knew already I'd be participating at a heavy level due to my web responsiblities
- that I don't know how to say no without feeling bad
- that I'm not enjoying the work. Volunteer work ought to be fun
- that to keep this project on track, I'm giving up some things I want to be doing for myself
- that I don't see where I could and should delegate tasks to others
OK, enough analysis. What will it take for me to find the work joyful again?
- Let go of the things I cannot do.
- I need to tell myself what I tell the people who want to participate, but cannot. I say, "This is a totally voluntary activity. If you do nothing, it's ok. Do what you want and what you can. Don't worry about the rest."
- I want to sew the blocks and make the two patterns I promised, because I want to have them.
- I want the recipient to be absolutely delighted with the result.
- I want to see all the wonderful pieces coming together, and build something for everyone in the future.
- I want to have time to work on my other projects as well.
- I can mentally let go of the long task list, and make sure I reserve time for me and for my other projects every day.
- I can start to figure out how to delegate.
- I can remind myself of what I want from this project every time I start to work down the list of tasks.
- I can make more decisions like I made last night, when I decided I would provide the data to the responsible board member, but let go, and not do more than that.
- I can start finding tasks for those volunteers to work on, and letting those tasks go.
- Make a list - lists help me feel more in control.
Do I feel more joyful now? Well, not exactly, but at least I see a path to what I want.
What does tonight's list look like?
- Leave work on time
- Bath and relaxing
- Cook
- Work on a volunteer block pattern
- Eat dinner and watch Glee on Super RTL
- Take the rest of the evening OFF
1 comment:
Been there ... sorry for you, because I know how this feels !! good thing you ranted it OFF your system. And the idea of saying "No" more often or delegating stuff to other people - probably a good idea, a very good idea. It is hard, but sometimes it's what you have to do! Hope you enjoyed your evening OFF ;-)))
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